"Easy votes are often the dumbest votes in this game."

While episode five of Blood vs Water didn’t pack the same punch as its predecessors, it was still a solid forty-five minutes of television, and I still feel really optimistic about the way this season is going. I have never lied about my bias toward the first ten seasons of Survivor (to me, they are far and away the best), but Blood vs Water could have the potential to be one of the better seasons in the post Hidden Immunity Idol era. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but… I am excited by the way this is all playing out.

We begin episode five with the fallout of Brad’s vote out. Vytas immediately ‘fesses up that he was the one that turned the second vote. He is not a stupid game player and realizes right away that he and Hayden could quickly become the minority, and he doesn’t want to be the first to go. Caleb explains that the plan came about last minute: “It just festered… until I couldn’t keep it down.” This is big news for Ciera, who immediately sees the impact this can have on her game. If Caleb went rogue against the Brolliance, there is potential for him to flip against them completely. So while Vytas and Hayden are left to do damage control, Katie and Ciera suddenly have the potential for new life in this game.

While Tadhana is rehashing their big move, Brad went into Redemption Island with his hands up: “Before you guys hit me, I’m waving the white flag,” he tells the Cody’s. John is shocked to see his former alliance member on Redemption Island, muttering, “Way to go, five guys.”

Candice, on the other hand, is thrilled. “I hear the sweetest voice I ever wanted to hear on Redemption Island,” she says, smiling, “Brad Culpepper.” She cannot wait to actually take Brad out of the game for good, after days of listening to his tribe talk bad about him as they were voted out.

But before we can get to the duel, there is one more matter to attend to: Laura M.’s sexy massage. I read Laura’s statement before the episode aired, so like everyone else who did I was waiting to see what she was making such a big deal about. There had been plenty of massages going on over at Galang, so this didn’t seem out of the ordinary. If Laura hadn’t talked about it on Facebook, I get the feeling no one would have read too much into it. But saying it was a massage she’d give to her sons probably wasn’t the best idea. And trusting Aras, leader of the majority alliance on Galang, probably wasn’t a very good idea either.

Onto the duel.

Monica is immediately reduced to tears when she sees Brad has been voted out. I am pretty sure Monica should have seen this coming a mile away based on the past duels, but I am also sure it sucks to see your loved one was voted out. She offers to switch with him, but Brad tells her no. In fact, Brad was very sweet to Monica. He clearly loves her. I was starting to think that between his kindness to his wife and his classy exit from the game, perhaps Brad is not a villain after all. Then he starts announcing, “I am not here because I am a jerk.” Funny… I thought that’s exactly why Brad was ousted. He was too cocky, had too much power, and could not be trusted. Maybe “jerk” isn’t the best word (although Skinny Ryan is probably smiling somewhere knowing that he is now one of two people to use that word on Survivor). But still. 

Jeff Probst then decides he needs to stick up for his man crush and call out my favorite assassin, Candice Woodcock Cody. I blame her performance in the duel on Jeff rattling her. He says that Candice has had a lot to say about the game, “yet you haven’t spent a single second at either camp.” Monica jumps on the anti-Candice bandwagon. She hopes Candice learned her lesson about speaking her mind. “You really hurt my feelings,” she cries.

Candice shrugs. She knows what she is talking about. She has gotten her information from every bitter player that has been voted out of their tribe. “Well Monica,” Candice replies, ever the bitter player herself, “You really hurt my feelings when you wrote my name down.”

We then have a silly challenge where the participants must take apart a crate, use the pieces to build a bridge, then take the bridge apart and build a puzzle. Not the most interesting duel. But what did interest me was the hypocrisy of the Galang tribe, as they all cheered for Brad and yelled advice to him. Really, guys? The guy you will be trying to get out of the game thirty minutes more into the episode? Poor John and Candice. John’s old Brolliance didn’t even send a cheer his way when he came in first in the duel. Perhaps they were too busy wondering why Ciera did every puzzle when John is so good at them.

Now, I said last week that I wanted Brad to win the duel. And I meant that. But I wanted John to lose. Not Candice! I wanted to see Brad and Candice stuck alone together. I wanted to see Candice continue to call everyone out during every duel. But I guess it was not meant to be. Candice’s parting words to Dr. John were, “No more tears, OK?” when she really should have been giving him some advice on how to handle the Hidden Immunity Idol clue. 

When left on his own, John just did the same thing Candice told him to do last time, which was giving the clue to Monica. Monica looked like she really wanted to keep it, but listened to Brad again and threw it in the fire. Here is what John probably should have done: Given the clue to either Caleb, Hayden, or Vytas. John now has no one left in the game, and he needs to start building bridges somewhere. Why not give a clue to one of his old alliance members, hoping that then he can hook up with them if he reenters the game? If he gave Hayden or Vytas the clue, I bet they would share it with the whole tribe. Suddenly Tadhana is united, and maybe John can join them if he happens to be the survivor of Redemption Island.

Monica does not help her chances in the game after returning from the duel. Talking about how much she wants Brad back only hurts her position in the Galang tribe. Tina is onto her, explaining, “Brad and Monica are a very tight couple, and that’s threatening.” Yes, everyone is tight with their loved ones. But Brad and Monica’s emotional reactions to each other make their tight bond more obvious than most.

Over at Tadhana, they are falling apart physically. Ciera has a monologue about injuries, and Katie shows everyone how all her toe nails are falling off. “It sickens me a little bit,” Vytas adds. Me too, Vytas. I have no interest in watching Katie Collins pull off her toe nails. But while she is doing that, Vytas is trying to help his position in the tribe by flirting with Caleb out on the boat. “I can’t get a read on Caleb,” he tells the viewers. There is no way Hayden or Vytas will ever trust Caleb again, but that doesn’t make Caleb any less of an important swing vote. Getting into his good graces is not a bad idea.

And after this, the editors tell us that Tadhana will finally win immunity. First we get a scene of Vytas doing yoga. “Since we voted out Brad, it’s been so peaceful… I’ve never been anywhere more beautiful.” We then get some epic music, and see the final five members of Tadhana sitting up high and overlooking the water. “We have to want it more than they want it.” Tadhana is suddenly a unified group, and the editors want to make sure we know this. At this point, I am convinced that Tadhana cannot lose this challenge.

When I then see the challenge is slip and slide + ring toss, I feel even more confident. No real talent needed to win this one. And sure enough Caleb (twice), Katie, Vytas (vs his brother), and Hayden all win their match ups, giving Tadhana the five points they need to finally be victorious. (Although please take note that yet again Ciera does not do anything to help the tribe.) I was cheering for Tadhana the whole way. Finally, we get to see some different faces at Tribal Council.

Aras takes the loss in stride, telling his tribe, “We didn’t really stand a chance in that one.” Apparently he already knew his brother was awesome at slides and ring toss.

And then we get some of our red herring, Laura B., being very bad at Survivor. Earlier in the episode she got a confessional about how she just didn’t fit in. She says she is going to lay back, but instead she starts scrambling, which is somewhat embarrassing to watch. She tells Kat that Laura M. and Monica were complaining about her doing the challenge in front of Tina and Tyson. Everyone knows Laura B. is the easy vote tonight, which is why we know Laura M. is going to be the one to go when she confesses, “Aras is the one I completely, explicitly trust.” Unfortunately for Laura M., that feeling is not even close to being mutual.

When Aras brings up voting out Laura M. first, Monica really wavers. “There’s lots of different things to think about.” Like Dr. John realized earlier in the game, Monica now realizes that who they vote out will affect her husband’s position for as long as he is on Redemption Island. She knows he can beat Laura B. Laura M. might be a different story.

At Tribal, Jeff is really not very nice to Laura B. I mean, he is really not very nice. “Do you belong out here?” he asks her. “Even though you want to play, you’re not Rupert.” Way to kick a woman while she’s down, Jeff. As if Laura B. didn’t feel bad enough already being voted out by people who didn’t even know her day 1, having to switch to a tribe of people who all knew each other and all wanted Rupert, having her husband ousted at the first duel, and knowing she is clearly on the outs in her tribe.

But even with Jeff’s Laura B.-bashing, she will live to fight another day. “I’ll be glad to be the only Laura on this tribe,” she says when she casts her vote for Laura M. Laura M. agreed that “there’s only room for one Laura on this island.” Unfortunately for her, she was the wrong one. Laura M. is completely blindsided by the tribe’s vote, and is not very happy having Jeff snuff her torch for the second time in her Survivor playing career.

Onto the winner and losers!

Week 5 Winners

Laura B. and Hayden both made it into the winner’s bracket for similar reasons—had one thing gone a little differently, they could be on Redemption Island.

As I said earlier—Laura B. is not doing a good job at playing Survivor. And it would have been very easy to vote her out this week. She’d probably lose at the next duel, and no one would be upset with anyone. But that isn’t what Galang did. They decided to keep her around for another vote. With the potential for a swap or early merge next week, this really helps Laura’s place in the game. She could become an important part of a voting bloc. Also, this gives everyone an extra few days to realize that Laura B. is the perfect goat. Forget Sherry and Philip and Matt—they are the goats of the past. No one will ever vote to give Laura B. a million dollars. Who wouldn’t want to sit next to her at the end? Shame on the returnees for not realizing this yet. If someone can pick up on this very strategic move, Laura B. may have a lot of time left in the game. If not, she at least made it three more days than she really should have.

I could call all of Tadhana winners this week—seeing as they finally won. But I will go with Hayden for a few different reasons. Hayden scored the final point for Tadhana, for one, sealing their victory. But it’s much more than that. Hayden is the only member of Tadhana who did not vote Brad out last week. If Caleb decided to switch his allegiance from the last remaining members of the Brolliance to the girls, Hayden would be the easiest first vote. But Tadhana won immunity, giving Hayden at least a few more days to secure his position in the game. If Hayden can make it to the merge, his quiet strategic game and ability to win individual immunities could really make him a force to be reckoned with in this game. Kat is on the outs on her tribe, but I don’t think this will affect Hayden’s position in the game in any way. In fact, I think he’ll be better off when she is gone. He’ll be able to make a solid alliance with Caleb, since they both don’t have partners, and Vytas will become the bigger target. I may be biased to Hayden as a Big Brother fan, but I think it is more objective than that. While he may not be able to make it to Final Tribal Council, he can probably get pretty close.

And Aras finally gets the honor his brother has gotten a few times already this season—he is finally one of the big winners. Regardless of how many times the editors hint that Gervase and Tyson want to vote out Aras, I will believe it when I see it. They had an opportunity this week and neither even mentioned his name (at least that we saw). Aras also got his entire tribe to go against what they all wanted to do (vote out Laura B.) and do what he wanted them to do (vote out Laura M.). Aras is clearly calling the shots over at Galang, at least for the time being. Unless Tyson and Gervase decide to actually make a move, Aras could be sitting pretty for quite awhile.

Week 5 Losers

Candice Cody may be a loser in the game of Survivor, but she is a winner where it counts—in our hearts. Before this season started, I was as anti-Candice as you could get. The last time I was so disappointed about a returning player was… well, when Candice returned in Heroes vs Villains. I had never once rooting for her in this game—until this season. I like Redemption Island Candice way better than Survivor Candice. She is a lot of fun to watch when she is angry and bitter. I was hoping we still had at least a few more weeks of her telling people off at the Redemption Island Arena. Candice is out of the game, but at least she managed to gain one more fan before her time was up. Just a word of advice, though, Candice—you really shouldn’t have been asked to return in the first place. Go out on a high note and do not come back! We all want to remember you chopping coconuts pretending they were Monica, and then giving her husband the bird and calling him out duel after duel. Let’s end your Survivor legacy here.

Monica is a loser yet again by no real fault of her own. She loves her husband and everyone knows this, and feels threatened by it. Brad getting voted out of the game didn’t help Monica at all—it almost seemed to remind the members of Galang how strong Monica and Brad could be as a duo. Until Brad loses at Redemption Island, Monica will be seen as a threat. If he doesn’t lose—Monica might be joining him before she knows it.

I don’t want to talk too much about Laura M. and her life outside the game of Survivor, but since she made an open statement about the editing of the show in regards to her actions, I will make some brief comments. Laura opened herself up to some serious criticism outside of the game. Yes, being on a reality show means people are going to feel like they can comment on your life. But I think Laura made things even worst on herself. Now that she herself described what we saw as “intimate” people feel like it’s open season to go off on their opinions of Laura and her life outside of the game. Some people have said some pretty awful things, and some people have made serious accusations about the fact that much more went on than what CBS showed. My opinion on Laura outside of the game of Survivor is irrelevant. But it seems opinions aren’t very good. Laura may not just be having problems in the game, but in her real life also. And to be honest—if she had not been so preemptive in talking about the edit before the episode aired, people might not have been watching, ready to judge her.

But regardless of Laura’s real life, she is definitely a loser when it comes to the game. Sure, she may be great at puzzles. Maybe she’ll beat Brad. Maybe she’ll beat John. Maybe she’ll beat everyone who gets voted out until she can reenter the game. But most likely, she won’t. And even if she did—who does she have to turn to? She was blindsided by her tribe, and they will clearly have no desire to work with her. Her daughter may still be in the game, but Ciera isn’t in a great position either. Laura M. may kick ass at puzzles, but that may be the only positive thing about her we take from this season of Survivor.

Will Tadhana’s big win give them the momentum they need to make it to the merge? Does it not even matter because we are about to have either a swap or early merge the next episode? How will mixing up the game change the current alliances? Can Laura M. annihilate John Cody at puzzles as well as she annihilated her daughter?

Stay tuned!